Balance or Survival

I just polished off one of those frustrating weeks working moms dread. My daughter was moving out of the house and needed my help on Thursday. I had to send a box overseas to my Marine son Tuesday. My youngest daughter needed to go to the library on Wednesday to get credit for work she did on her program and go to the bank to deposit money Friday she has earned and received this month. Two of my other daughters wanted to hang with friends Tuesday night, Wednesday night, Thursday night and attend a Friday night party. My car broke down Monday and my other car doesn’t start and I had to share a ride with my son who works second shift all week. My husband’s hours have increased, which is a blessing, but that messes up our previous schedule. I needed a hair cut and groceries disappeared faster than usual and library books and videos were due and bills were due and I missed a call from my son because of a migraine and I have gardening begging to get finished between rain drops and the frig is in desperate need of clearing out.

Besides this, my old boss is leaving and my new boss is coming on. There are three cases in Morrow county courts that I’m watching plus the other government business I need to keep up with and a possible festival to attend and five or more stories languishing in my files waiting for their time in the sun.

I think this is a pretty normal week. I don’t wonder how to balance a week like that, just survive it.

I think balance is an extremely relative term. Balance cannot be achieved in a day, unless you have the self-discipline of Gandhi. Balance cannot be achieved in a week or a month. Life doesn’t work like that. I think balance could possibly achieved in a year, if life is kind. But, after trying to keep everyone in my life happy for years, I don’t believe there is such a thing as balance in life. I am always forgetting something, someone, some goal, some promise or some important assignment.

No one I know has time to do everything they are “supposed to do” according to the “experts.”

I try to make time to exercise. I try to make time for relaxation and meditation. I am attempting to find continuing education classes that will make me smarter, challenge my brain and keep me sharp. I search for top-notch professionals in my field to emulate. I try to buy the best foods available for my body given my budget. I strive to take time to spend one-on-one time with each of my children. I search for evenings to occasionally go out with my husband. I read my Bible and spend time stretching my spiritual self.

Realistically, there is not enough time to exercise 30 minutes, do relaxation 45 minutes, practice visualization in the morning before work, take a shower, do my hair and make up, spend 30 minutes reading to my children, help them with their school work, spend an hour making supper, eat 6 small meals during the day, call my mother, then my husband, work an 8-hour day, work on that professional development and sleep at least 7.5 hours each night. I estimate that to be a 25-hour day. Something has to be sacrificed.

This is the plan I came up with:
· I keep a list of all the stuff I think I need to do.
· I try to get a little of each done each week.
· Most of it goes to the next week.
· By the end of the month I throw the list out.

This is what really happens:
· I eat when I’m hungry.
· I exercise when I start feeling sluggish.
· I go to work everyday to avoid getting fired and to assure that bimonthly paycheck.
· I take care of all the emergencies provided by my children and husband (“putting out fires”) earning me a degree in time management.
· I read something before I go to bed each night, lumping spiritual renewal, relaxation and professional development into a 15-20 minute crash before the book drops on the floor and I’m snoring.
· I fix nutritious meals when I have time, usually the weekends, and train my family to make their own meals. (Hint: I found that NOT being around at meal times forces the family to scavenge. Feel free to use that little technique yourself. No charge.)
· When I feel like screaming I take a day to myself. It usually takes a few weeks after my initial scream session to schedule my day off. I’m three months overdue as I write this.
· I sit in my car 5-10 minutes before going into work to write tiny snippets of my memoirs. That way I can honestly tell people I’m writing a novel. I can’t really call it memoirs because my memory is so bad.
· I use waiting in line at the bank or check out to visualize.

At the end of the week I can look back at all the craziness and see that I have accomplished the most important skill known to man – survival.

If this sounds like you – welcome to the jungle. Don’t forget to hang with the monkeys.

Related posts: