Don’t Answer That – Being Politely Rude
I have learned a secret to wise time management – learning the art of being politely rude.
Writing for the newspaper means I have to call commissioners, councilmen, board members, mayor, city managers, engineers, state level personnel, representatives and even the occasional senator. When making that first call the first person I talk to is sometimes a secretary. Sometimes I get transferred through to the desired recipient of my call, and most of the time I have to leave a message. But once the relationship with the person is fixed I am usually awarded the honor of having their cell phone. I have found that they all, with few exceptions, have a common practice: They let their calls go to voice mail.
Other reporters and editors I’ve worked with complain about this practice, but I see it as an important skill in time management. There are calls, there are important calls, and then there are the calls you are waiting for. The waiting-for-calls are the ones that get precedence. A reporter is usually not a waiting-for-call (unless it’s the month before elections). So, I’m used to leaving messages.
This voice mail practice has forced me to learn two new skills.
The first skill is leaving a great voicemail message. I prepare ahead of time. If I don’t I leave a long message with lots of “um” and “ah” and repeats. I’ve gotten those calls. Yikes. Boring. It doesn’t matter why you need to talk to a person. The message you leave will either leave them with the impression that they can make you wait indefinitely or that they can’t wait to call you back. A good message, nice, light, cheerful, with on-the-money information will get a response twice as fast as a boring, him-haw around, I’m-not-sure-what-I want-to-say message. Just listen to yourself as you leave messages this week. You’ll see what I mean.
The second skill is screening calls. There is no shame in screening calls. I am at the point in my professional and personal life that I assume everyone screens calls. I never get offended if someone doesn’t answer my call. I am prepared to leave a message with every call I make. It takes a little more prep time, but it’s worth it. If you really want to make an impression, leave a great voice mail: encouraging, joking, pleasant, happy, informative, short & sweet.
I know folks that “take” every call. Every call! How infuriating it is to sit with someone in a coffee shop hoping to have a nice conversation, or do an interview, or get some information when their cell goes off and they “have to take it.” Now multiply that times five or six per hour and I’m not sure I want to have coffee with that guy again. Not unless it’s the only way I can talk to him.
When you are with someone, be polite and set your phone to voice mail. Then silence the monster and concentrate on the person you are with. Remember the song lyrics “Love the one you’re with?” Well, love the flesh and blood human you are with and focus on them. Your phone will remind you of all the calls you missed. If those folks are practiced in leaving good messages, then you won’t have missed much and you will have gained trust of the person you were sitting with.
Life’s been tough for my household and the phone calls from bill collectors got to be pretty gruesome and stressful. I began screening calls and even giving each number a ring tone so I didn’t even have to look to know who was calling. Thank goodness I have dealt with everyone and the only calls that I don’t answer are trying to sell me Dish TV or trying to buy my vote.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a purist. You don’t have to always screen your calls. When I’m sitting at my desk at the paper reading through sheriff reports or typing up probate, I am more than happy to answer my phone and talk to anyone just for a break in the monotony. But, sometimes I am on a roll and I don’t want to loose my train of thought and I will let my call go to the voice mailbox. I’m disappointed when folks don’t leave a message. I always return calls. Always.
And I guess that’s another skill that I had to learn the hard way. There have been a few calls I didn’t return right away because I just didn’t want to deal with the person, or I forgot. Waiting three days to return a call can get a person pretty mad. Return your calls as soon as you can. Of course, if you are trying to get rid of someone – those pesky folks that are sucking your emotional energy or are trying to ruin your business or just want yet another favor that they won’t return – ignore away. Although, I have found that I can talk those folks into the ground (like drinking them under the table). If I have done everything I can for them and they are just calling to waste my time or complain yet again about something I can’t fix, I tell them who else they should call, talk until they fall asleep, then politely say goodbye. Learn a little about county or school finances – that will put anyone to sleep.
This column has been a little disjointed, so lets review:
1. Don’t answer it until YOU are ready.
2. Love the one you’re with.
3. Return every call asap.
4. Don’t be offended at another person’s phone etiquette.
5. Learn the fine art of putting people to sleep.
Be politely rude.
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